i love reading fluff, and just warm shit. i have a collection of fluff and slice of life. i probably love it so much because i cant write it. happy stories don’t come naturally to me. i start out writing happy normal shit and end in dubiously moral fantasy. so yeah, i concede to the realist in me.
starting with short stories. short. stories. omfg someone take this laptop away from me.
FUCK MY LIFE
ugh. i hate fandom.
so i’m reading this pretty decent dorian/john fic and then i make the mistake of reading the authors note b4 the next chappie to discover this bitch is making parallells that dont exist god fucking damnit, to destiel. Long story short, i exit and cry. pot calling kettle black and all but why yll got to fucking multiship? Stop. Fucking stop dont compare the gift of life that is Dorian to that piece of shit Castiel. like the dorian/john fandom is sooo small. why this bitch gotta talk? Like eeeww. and nooo. and ugh and fuck that.
destiel is the only ship that gets me from 0 to Fuck you and your ancestors in like seconds.
In other news, the Jorian fandom is small but talented. And we need more fanfics with poc. I have too many white ships. im probably never letting wincest or j2 go but ive added like several white boy ships and its depressing sometimes. like i have *swimming* rps ships. And almost everyone is white. i’m leery of shipping black rps probably cause im protective/have respect for the persons.
went through my incest tags, (yay) now if only the cross generational ones were less smut more introspection. The Herc/Chuck ship does a good job though. I dunno im just drowning in fiction and feeling out of it like, is this real life?
yay for orgasms, boo for real life implications. Like theres kink and fantasy then theres real world shit like consent and age of consent laws.
i just wanna be buried in a pile of well written fiction featuring sexual headcanons i can agree with and better dialogue.
the Bane/john fandom is dead. I feel like checking the Slade/robin fandom one of these days cause yeah. pretty much all my ships from middle school are dead. And they all came almost exclusively from nick toons and cartoon network. o-o
I feel lethargic and bored and just fucking bored. I seem to just be waiting. I want fuckers to fuck off and i just wanna chill. And figure some shit out.
I wanna write, im going to write. i am writing. But about what? Ive got so much inspiration but like no motivation. who the fuck cares? i dont. well i do. i think. its 3am and i feel out of sorts and out, and bored. I wanna drop all my ships and focus on writing original shit. at least there, ill be writing about poc and not white cishet dudes.
So its decided, drop ships focus on original shit. yeah. no. omg it takes so much work to create characters and background and i hate world building. I dont want to write but i need to. I dont like most of the original shit i read. Its boring, its stupid its fake, its white. Its heteronormative, its bigoted, its homophobic, its sexist, its booooring.
I want to write tragedy, i want to write romance, i want to write adventure, i want to write horror. i want to write. So i have to let some of these fuckers go. i need to focus on my writing because its probably the best way to keep me on task, i need to write because, these stories are all in my head, and ive told so many and forgotten even more and i really do need to record.
but in the meantime, ill play with the characters. premade and ready for anything i desire.